Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

It’s Christmas Eve and celebrations have begun for our family.

During this time of celebration and busyness, don’t forget to look after yourself. I know that, for our family at least, it is definitely a very busy few days and so over the last few years I’ve had to learn a few ways to manage this.

Don’t forget to pace yourself. For me, this means no more than one or two social events each day (if 2, then one has to be a very low energy event) but even this is much more than I normally do so I’ve decided that I’m going to take a break from here until the new year.

2015 in review

Over the last year I haven’t done as much posting as I have in previous years, it has been the year of Enough. This has meant focusing on getting life more balanced and accepting what I have and what I can do, not what I don’t have and can’t do.

The top 3 most popular posts this year have been:

• The 100 Goal Challenge: My To-Do-List
• Living with Chronic Pain – Top 3 tips
• Pelvic Congestion Syndrome – What is it?

Two of these were written in previous years but are still quite popular today.

During the last year I have begun working again (even if only a small amount each week) and it’s been nice to be bringing in some income of my own. I’ve also been working with my husband and close friends to get the Foggy Frog picture book finalised (we should be ready to publish early in the new year).

I haven’t yet taken the time to sit down and reflect properly on everything that has been achieved this year or what I’m hoping to achieve in the new year and that is another reason why I’m planning to take the next week off. When I get back I will hopefully be able to outline better what it is I’m hoping to achieve in the next 12 months.

In regards to our 20 week no buy challenge, I don’t believe I’ll have any troubles with temptation as I’ll be focusing on my health and socialising for the next week or so but I’ll report on weeks 4 and 5 in the new year.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

I hope you all manage to find at least something small to be grateful for and to bring joy to you holidays.

Week 3 No Buy Review: Christmas is coming

 

In regards to my health, I’ve struggled a lot again this last week thanks to the continued changes in weather. Pain and fatigue have been constant and the few days I’ve been a little better (and some of the bad days) have been busy thanks to appointments/social events.

Given all of this it hasn’t been too difficult to stick with the no buy challenge but I was tempted by a couple of dresses that appeared on the Facebook page of my favourite vintage shop…

Why was I tempted by these dresses?

Earlier this year, as part of my decluttering I decided to give away any clothes that were no longer comfortable for me to wear. I’m still working on this but I did donate my ‘Christmas dress’ (the dress I’ve worn for Christmas for the last 4 years) because the zip was just not comfortable for me any more.

Christmas 2013

Having a nap during Christmas 2013…

I loved that dress, it looked great and even had pockets, but I had got to the point that every time I wore it the zip felt like it was cutting my back open so it went… At least I know it went to a wonderful lady who will get great use out of it.

Now that Christmas is coming closer I realised I didn’t have my Christmas dress. The dresses from Push Pin look amazing and, apart from colour, they look like they fit my new guidelines for purchases (when the No Buy Challenge ends – I’ll explain these in a different post later).

How did I avoid the temptation?

Well, as I’ve already stated my health hasn’t been the best so even if I had been tempted enough I didn’t really have the energy or strength to head into the shop and try them on.

I also decided that my Christmas dress doesn’t have to be red…

One of my favourite dresses that I already own is a beautiful teal green colour that could be dressed up Christmassy.

The top of the dress…

During an interview earlier this year…

The photos don’t really show me the colour properly…

I still have my Christmas earrings and wear the same Christmas hat (see photos above) each year at Christmas Eve dinner with the in-laws.

Do you have a specific outfit you wear for Christmas?

If you’ve joined in the challenge, how are you going?

A social weekend – Week 2 No Buy Review

Another week has past and the challenge is going well. You can check out Rach’s week in review here.

Thanks to my energy being so low the majority of my week was spent at home either listening to audio books or reading. During the week, my only outings were dinner with my husband’s parents and an acupuncture appointment.

From Friday to Sunday were pretty full of social activities (at least for me). Even though my energy was still very low and pain higher than ‘normal’, I try and make an effort to have at least one or two social outings a week (usually visiting my mum and one other event).

I had visitors at our house on Friday. Morning tea with one of my friends who I enjoy spending time with but don’t get to see often enough. Lunch with my dad and his girlfriend. Generally I aim for only one catch up in a day but occasionally life gets in the way (it happened twice this weekend).

Saturday we went to a friends place for a bbq dinner. Again this was someone I hadn’t seen in a long time and it was great to catch up with everyone there. We stayed a few hours and then went home so I could rest.

Sunday we again had friends over for morning tea and then went to a friends house for lunch and a swim (they have a pool).

Over all, it was a very VERY busy weekend for me but every now and then I feel it’s important to go with the flow and deal with the effects afterwards.

This close to Christmas there are usually a few Christmas get togethers. This year there aren’t as many but I still want to spend time with family and friends.

In the next week we’re going to the movies (tickets pre-bought by my husband before the challenge started), I have an exercise physio appointment and I get to pick up my new glasses.

How was your week? How are you feeling in the lead up to the Christmas Crazy period?

ps sorry no pictures this week…

“You’re looking good”…

I’ve lived with chronic illness to some extent my whole life but for the last 2 1/2 years illness has been a major contributing factor in my life.

One thing I’m noticing more and more as I learn to accept, and live with, my chronic illnesses and the disabling symptoms they impose on my daily life is the innocence and ignorance of many who do not suffer from them.

It’s not only what’s happening in my life, but what I hear from others online and in person who are also suffering from invisible chronic illnesses.

The key word there is INVISIBLE…

Whenever I meet people in public I’m asked “How are you going?” or told “You’re looking good” and when I hear these things I never know how to reply.

On the outside I look like any other healthy person.

I walk normally most of the time (no obvious limp) although this can be difficult when I’m in a lot of pain or when the fatigue is so bad that my legs feel like lead weights. I look bright and happy (because I am happy) even when inside my body is screaming at me and my brain is in a dense fog.

Yes, I may ‘look good’ but I don’t feel good but I don’t want to be a downer for everyone around me so I don’t necessarily want to tell people I feel like crap.

How should I respond to these comments and questions?

I’ve seen different responses online from others going through the same thing.

Some people keep all the pain and suffering inside. They tell others they’re fine and try to ignore what’s going on then get upset and angry at the people asking the questions because they don’t understand.

Others tell anyone and everyone what’s going on with them. This can lead to people getting frustrated at you. People can begin to think you’re not really as sick as you say you are.

Personally, I think something in between is the best road to take. When answering questions or talking to people about our health we should take into consideration who we’re talking to and what their relationship is with us.

Even those closest to us don’t need to be constantly told what we’re feeling. Yes, they need to understand but we also need to understand it can be hard for them to cope, especially if you fell ill after you were close.

Responding to “You look good”

If I don’t know the person at all, I’d just reply ‘Thank you’.

If they know about my condition but I’m not very close to them, I’m likely to say ‘Thanks, I don’t feel that good’.

If I’m close to them I might share more detail about how I’m feeling, especially if how I’m feeling will impact on what we’re planning to do together.

Responding to “How are you?”

If I don’t know the person at all, I’d just reply ‘Fine’ or ‘OK’.

If they know about my condition but I’m not very close to them, I’m likely to say ‘As well as can be expected’. If they’re interested I might go into more detail afterwards.

If I’m close to them, I’d give a similar answer to above but would usually give them more detail.

How do you respond to well meaning but difficult questions and comments?

Week 1 No Buy Review… Hot and Foggy

It’s been a week since Rach and I started our 20 Week no buy challenge and I may have already gone against my lists….

Let’s have a quick overview of the last week.

The weather here has been very hot and variable. Because of these weather changes my health has also been all over the place with the brain fog, fatigue and pain all higher than my normal levels. I’ve also been feeling mentally vulnerable at the moment due to a whole range of things happening around us so I’ve been very emotional.

That doesn’t mean I haven’t had some good times over the last week. On Friday night our local Council hosted one of their Moonlight Markets in the local park. My husband and I went along. We had dinner together and I bought a pair of earrings…

Now I’m still tossing up whether these earrings will be for me or a gift for someone else, but I feel that I’ve broken one of my ‘will not buy’ items…

They came packed nicely (see below) so at the moment they’re sitting under our christmas tree. They’ll either be a present for someone else or I’ll open them for christmas.

There were several times when, thanks to my emotional vulnerability, I was tempted to buy junk food or have lunch out by myself during the week but I didn’t!

Most of the week was spent resting, although I did manage a bit of work and also had a few appointments and social activities.

On the weekend (when the weather was at it’s worst) my husband and I went to the local shops to buy a lego set that we’d been looking at for a while that was cheaper than we’d seen it before. While in the shops we found the last book in the Obernewtyn series, a series that I have been reading for many years. Because I already owned all the other books we bought this one as well and I’ve spent a lot of time since then reading (started the series from the beginning again because it’s been 4 years since the last book came out).

Other than those two purchases (the book and the earrings) I believe I’ve stuck to my guidelines pretty well…

• We went and watched a friend playing ice hockey on Sunday morning. A nice way to spend such a hot morning!
• We had takeaway for dinner last night after a workshop I was running. This fits with my guidelines as it was a shared meal with my husband.
• We’ve done grocery shopping and purchased fresh local cherries, apricots and handpicked beans.
• I’ve purchased a set of stainless steel straws that I’ve been looking at for a long time. I often need to use straws but feel guilty about the waste they cause. Having a stainless steel straw in my bag at all times will mean I can say no to the plastic ones.

My zero waste eating out kit that lives in my handbag consists of a spoon, chopsticks, straw and napkin.

So there have been both positives and negatives this week. Let’s see how I fair in the next few weeks leading up to Christmas!

Check out how Rach did in the first week in her post here.

Have you been joining us on this challenge? If so, how have you been going?

The Difficulty of Pacing: Work

I’ve been so excited to hear from you all about your thoughts on the most recent A-Z guide to a simple, sustainable and meaningful life. One of the questions I’ve been asked to share more about is how work fits in to pacing with a chronic illness.

One reader in particular approached me with her current situation and I could see a lot of similarities so I wanted to talk about the issue in more detail.

This lady has ME/CFS like me. I’ll let her share her experience in her own words (modified for privacy):

I’ve been working on trying to get my activity level up for a while now but have only been keeping track of my daily steps for about a month. At the moment I seem to be averaging about 4000-5000 steps a day which I’m really happy with. I think a couple of years ago I would’ve been lucky to average 1500-2000. My main problem at the moment is that my step count is very inconsistent. It can vary anywhere from 2000 steps a day to over 8000 a day depending on the activities I have on.

I’ve now been back at work for just over 3 months… I’ve only been doing short shifts (3 or 4 hours) but these shifts involve being on my feet and walking around for most of the time. This makes it hard for me to pace myself and on a work day I don’t think it would be possible for me to keep my step count below 8000. I then find that the day after I have worked I’m exhausted and my step count is very low.

The issue here is the inconsistency. It’s something I can relate to strongly, on the days I need to go out of the house I tend to find myself doing double or more steps than on the days I’m home and can pace myself. I’ve also found it harder to avoid crashes since I’ve started working regularly.

My exercise physio has made it clear to me that the most important thing in order to avoid crashes is to be consistent. As the reader above stated, this isn’t always possible. It’s difficult to maintain a consistent level of activity when you have to do more on certain days due to engagements you can’t (or don’t want to) avoid, things like doctor’s appointments, work, important social events.

One thing I’ve done to try and help with consistency, is to consider it more on a week or monthly basis (rather than a day by day basis). That is, like the reader above, some days I do a lot more but I balance that out by doing a less on the other days.

I’m not completely happy with that approach though because some days I’m doing less because (like today) I literally have no energy left. What I’d like to do is find a way to pace so that even though I do more some days and less on others, I’m not doing the less because of crashes. I want to be doing it because I want to.

Pacing is about setting base levels and sticking to them for as long as necessary before slowly increasing them.

Since I’ve started working again, I aim to do a minimum of 5-8 hours a week. I break this down into smaller time slots. Some days this may be an hour at a time, other times (like today) it’s in 5-10 minute blocks…

I’m lucky in that most the work I’m doing I’m able to do from home and sitting down, but I still need to pace myself. I need to find the right balance of mental and physical activity to maintain my health.

In an ideal world, we’d be able to only work what fits with our health but in some roles (as with our reader) there are minimum shifts that you can do so if you’re going to work at all it’s likely to be too much to start with.

In response to the reader’s concerns I’d like to offer some advice…

If it’s possible to take short breaks, or even just ask for a stool at the counter (if you’re in customer service), that would give you a chance to pace yourself even within your shifts. However, knowing the area you are working in I know that the workplace isn’t always willing to be that flexible.

From what you’ve said to me it does sound like you are doing the best you can in your situation. It’s great that you’re tracking your activity levels and maybe you could look at working out what your baseline is.

How do you pace?

If you work, how do you manage the difficulties this can raise?

A 20 Week No Buy Challenge

Wow, I can’t believe it’s December already! I’m so happy that I managed to make it through the last month of daily posts for National Blog Posting Month. It was a struggle but I made it thanks to being able to schedule a few posts in advance each week to cover days that I would be busy or my energy was too low.

Now that NaBloPoMo is over for 2015, I’m going to cut back a bit on my posting and aim for 2 – 3 posts a week.

My friend Rach, from Around the World with Rachael, has invited me to join her in a 20 Week No Buy Challenge starting today, December 1. She will also be posting about this today so I’ll let her share her rules and reasons for participating in this challenge.

My reasons for participating in this 20 week challenge is not only to support Rachael as she does it but to continue my journey towards a simple, sustainable and meaningful life now that the A-Z Guide has been completed.

I have previously stated on social media that I was going to attempt a full year of ‘No Buy’ in relation to clothing, however I didn’t succeed in that. When my leggings died a few months ago I held off but did end up buying a new pair of leggings, a top and a dress. I did make sure I removed at least one item (sometimes up to 3) from my wardrobe for each new thing I brought in.

I’m happy with my wardrobe as it is at the moment, so not buying clothes and jewellery should be easy for me; especially for 20 weeks. Given that, I’m expanding my rules (or modifying them) slightly from what Rachael is going to focus on (clothing, shoes, accessories).

Megan’s 20 Week No Buy Challenge Rules

Things I will not be buying:

• Clothing – exceptions will be made if something I have only one of (e.g. leggings) completely die. Otherwise, make do with what I have.
• Shoes and accessories (this should be easy, I haven’t bought anything new in this category for quite a while and have only just received a new pair of earrings from my husband as an anniversary gift).
• Junk food (this will be a struggle for me, although not often I do find when I’m feeling at my worse I do tend to grab some apricot slices or chocolate).
• Eating out or takeaway alone. I will still eat out with family and friends but try to make each outing meaningful and when I’m eating alone I will make my own food or eat leftovers from home.
• Other Non-essentials – toys, games, fancy new gadgets… (I’m sure I’ll be tempted by some things but can’t think of them right now, so that’s what this category is meant to be covering).

Things I will still be buying:

• Necessities – groceries, house related bills, etc.
• Gifts for others – my focus will be on making sure gifts fit with Elena’s 5H Code of Holiday Giving. Where possible I will make gifts at home, if this isn’t possible I will aim for gifts to be at least 2 of the following – Handmade, Healthy, Helpful and from Here (local) – and will focus on experiences.
• Experiences and events that fit with my values.
• Work related expenses.

Rachael is planning to post a weekly update, so I will too. In her posts Rachael will be sharing an outfit from her own wardrobe (given her focus is on fashion related shopping). I might do the same thing to show you how my (almost) minimal wardrobe works for me.

The photos will be simple shots taken on my phone so won’t be the best quality but will share what I have in my wardrobe.

I’ll start with what I’m wearing today…

 

It’s a crash day for me today with pain and fatigue quite high so I’m wearing my maxi dress (maternity dress from Target a few years ago). I may add a jumper later on if it cools down any more than it is right now.

So, what can you expect from me over the next few months?

I’m cutting back my posts from daily to something more sustainable (2-3 posts a week). One of those weekly posts will be (for the next 20 weeks at least) an update on how I’m going with our #nobuychallenge. The other posts will be either health or lifestyle related posts that I hope will continue to provide support and inspiration for you, my readers.

You can join in with our challenge by commenting on our posts (or writing your own) letting us all know about what you’re doing. Modify the rules to suit yourself. If you do share your challenge on social media, let’s use the hashtag #nobuychallenge so we can find posts easily.