It’s been over a week since I last posted. Between my major projects (Foggy Frog book and AAEE 2016 Conference) and the weather here it’s been difficult to find time to write here.
Yesterday, just as I was about to write my post, the power went out at home. It was out most the day so instead of working (everything I’ve got to do at the moment is online) I spent the day reading Harry Potter and playing with the cats.
It was interesting working out the best ways to stay warm when the heater didn’t have it’s fan (it was warm right in front of it but the heat didn’t get very far) and I didn’t have electricity to make the gas hot water work for a bath or the kettle work for tea.
In the end, I used the stove (gas and I could light it with a match) to boil water for tea and just sat as close as I could to the fire most the day with the cats for company.
Anyway, on to what I was planning to talk about yesterday…
Testosterone – an Update
It’s been over 3 months since I started on Testosterone treatment for pain and energy management.
Using the syringe to measure and apply the cream to my skin
The first few months I didn’t really notice much difference. There was a good reason for that though as, although we started at the usual dose for women and doubled it at the end of each month, I didn’t seem to be absorbing much of it. The free levels in my blood only went up by 0.3 over the first two months from 0.4 to 0.7 (normal range for women is 1.5 to 8 – I don’t remember what the measurement units are sorry)!
Rubbing the cream in to make sure as much as possible gets absorbed
However, once we doubled the dose again, for a total of 1 mL daily, my free testosterone levels in my blood have finally reached low-mid normal range (around 2). I’m beginning to notice some changes in my base levels of pain and a decrease in the number and intensity of the crashes I have. Nothing really worth claiming as a significant improvement yet, but even the change in crash frequency has allowed me to get a lot more done recently.
Foggy Frog and the Pain Gang Book Launch
We’ve set a date for the official book launch! There will be a live event on Saturday 24 September 2016 at Burnside Library, followed by a series of online events during Invisible Illness Awareness Week (September 26 – October 2 2016). Register for the live event here and stay tuned for more details of the online events.
If you have your own blog or podcast and would be interested in being a part of the Invisible Illness Awareness Week events let me know in the comments or contact me below.
Imagine waking every day and being unsure about what you’ll be able to achieve that day. You may wake up to pain levels so high that even rolling over in bed is too painful, or maybe your energy is so low that you can’t even get your eyes to open properly…
Maybe, like me, you don’t need to imagine this at all. Maybe you live with a chronic illness that makes your life unpredictable and very VERY frustrating.
When you have a chronic illness it can be quite easy to be hard on yourself for all the things you struggle to do, or simply can not do, on a daily basis. These things can be as simple as taking a shower or brushing your teeth. Things that others may take for granted.
One tool that I’ve learnt to have in place to help me and my extended family and friends cope better with my multiple chronic illnesses is to find a way to separate myself from the illness. When I’m unable to do something, I (usually) remember that I shouldn’t be angry or frustrated at myself. It’s the illness and it’s symptoms that I should be angry and frustrated at.
A great way I’ve found to separate me from my conditions, is to personify my illnesses (or at least the main symptoms I face). The characters I’ve created are Foggy Frog and the Pain Gang. By personifying my symptoms in this way I can say things like “it’s Foggy Frog that is making it difficult to make a coherent sentence today” or “Stabbing Spider that has taken my breath away.”
Having this separation between myself and my illness helps me keep a positive and open attitude towards my life. It gives me room to focus on the things I can do or the things around me that I can be grateful for. I can focus on all the things I am; I aim to live as simply, sustainably and meaningfully as possible. I am passionate about working with others. I am a loving wife and caring friend. I am an advocate and an educator. I am not just my illness!
The separation also helps with my relationship with my husband. When he’s frustrated at what I can’t do, we can both be angry and frustrated at the illness and I don’t feel the need to take things too personally. We are able to talk openly about how we feel and, as long as we can maintain the separation between me and my symptoms, the anger should be aimed at the illness and not me.
The idea of separating yourself from your illness is generally discussed from the point of view of mental illness such as OCD, Schizophrenia, Bipolar or Depression, but I’ve found it useful living with physical conditions such as Myalgic Encephalomyelitis and Fibromyalgia and I’m sure it can be applied to many other conditions.
Chronic illness makes life difficult at the best of times. Having to deal with both constant and unpredictable symptoms can take a major toll on your self esteem and general mental health. However, by separating ourselves from our illnesses we can nurture a healthier relationship with our bodies, our lives, and our families that will allow us to remember who we actually are. We are not our illnesses.
What techniques do you have in place to separate yourself from your illness or to otherwise maintain your mental health?
The other day, E and I were out celebrating the birthday of one of our friends. It was a dinner and dessert event, which meant a late night for me.
Because I knew we were having a late night I’d spent most the day doing quiet activities like reading and building the Lego I got for my birthday. Even though these were the main activities I did that day by lunch time I was struggling to keep my eyes open and my pain levels were rising.
I spent most the afternoon on the couch resting and thankfully I was feeling reasonably well when it came time to head to dinner. Still low energy and slightly raised pain levels, but not bad enough that I couldn’t focus at all.
At dinner, the venue was quite loud and I did struggle with focusing on conversations so didn’t even bother trying to keep up with conversation at the far end of the table. I did chat a bit with those at my end of the table but mainly just tried to listen.
When we got to where we were having dessert it was quieter so I began to join in the discussion again. At this point someone asked me if I was doing better because I looked a lot better than I had before.
Now, I’m always hesitant to answer this question.
Yes, at the moment I’m managing to do a lot more than I had in the last 3 years. I’m working and I’m socialising more. My energy levels are (ever so slightly) better than they have been (more stable), meaning I’m crashing less often, and my pain levels are relatively stable (although they’re beginning to fluctuate a lot more now that winter is here again).
If I just compared how I’m doing right at this moment with how I was 6 months or 2 years ago my answer would be a resounding YES, I’m doing better.
But I’ve felt better before, for a month or two, and then had a major crash which took me back to worse than I was to start with so I don’t want to jump the gun and say I’m doing better yet.
I believe the Testosterone cream is helping with my energy levels at the moment, but I am concerned about the side effects if I stay on it long term and I really want to have children at some point.
E was frustrated with me that I wouldn’t give a clear Yes answer to our friends and that I deferred to him and asked if he thought I’ve been doing better.
I did this because, up until recently, he’s always been able to tell (even before me a lot of the time) if I’m doing too much and about to crash. It seems that I’ve been able to perfect my ‘well’ face (the one I use to cover the fact I’m struggling) to a point where even he’s not noticing as quickly when I’m struggling with things.
That night out, I looked like I was doing well. For some periods of time I was, my energy levels were fluctuating dramatically going from able to focus to complete zone out several times during the mean. Normally E would notice these zone out times, but it appears he didn’t that night…
Do you struggle with people assuming you’re better because you ‘look’ better than before?
This morning I was reading a post from my friend Julie Ryan over at Counting My Spoons where she shared a bit about the rough times she’s going through at the moment and how she’s trying to cope with them.
A lot of what she’s talked about in that post, slowing down and focusing on perspective and a positive attitude, are things that I’ve found have worked for me when learning to live a more sustainable and meaningful life with all the symptoms of a chronic and invisible illness.
I’ve found that, as I’ve learnt to cope better with the constant fatigue and pain that accompany me on a daily basis (hello Foggy Frog and all your friends), my illness seems to become even more invisible.
When the pain first struck it was obvious to everyone around me that something was wrong. I wasn’t able to function at all, I was scared because I didn’t know what was going on, and my body language made it clear I was in pain.
These days it takes a lot of pain and very high fatigue levels for me to look sick. Having accepted what I have to live with on a daily basis, I’ve learnt to ‘ignore’ the pain and the fatigue by focusing on what I can do and simply not thinking about it too much.
These days when I’m out I’m often greeted with ‘you look well!’, ‘it’s good to see you looking so healthy’, or other statements to that effect from people who know me. Inside I might still be feeling like I’m dying but on the outside I look perfectly fine.
This facade does crack occasionally when I overdo it, and those who have seen the sudden change often remark that I looked well one second and the next I looked like I had no energy at all.
What does all this have to do with working?
In most work places you have at least some face to face interaction with other people. People also expect you to look healthy while you’re at work. If you go to work looking like death warmed up you’re likely to be sent home!
I’ve found that being able to slow down and focus on the positive aspects of my life I’m better able to cope with change and with the pressures working puts on me.
Many with chronic illnesses have to work. These people have no choice but to do something in order to have enough money to provide themselves, and sometimes their family, with basic requirements such as food, shelter and clothing.
Others are supported by their family or were lucky enough to have already saved enough money to retire and focus on their health. However, these people still need to feel like their contributing and are ‘worthwhile’.
Personally, I’m lucky enough to be supported by my husband. I work because I want to be doing the work not because I need to in order to survive. I ‘need to’ work in order to maintain my own sense of self-worth and to feel like I’m making a contribution to society.
Because of my own personal situation, I can choose the type of work I take on. At this point in time, half the work I’m doing is voluntary (unpaid work).
The benefit of starting with voluntary or very casual work is the flexibility. Although I still feel guilty occasionally for not doing what I wanted to get done I can just step back and say sorry I need a break if things get too difficult for me. Thankfully I’ve only had to do that a few times so far and I believe that’s because I am taking steps to allow my health to come first.
Building up gradually. I didn’t jump in head first into working after I reached the point I felt I was capable of it. Instead I started with as little as half an hour to an hour a week and slowly built up from there.
I have had set backs along the way but overall I’ve been slowly improving my health and increasing my activity levels. Set backs are, I believe, inevitable when you live with a chronic illness.
Understanding the fluctuations in my health. As I said, I believe set backs are inevitable with chronic illness. My health often fluctuates. Sometimes I can predict it and sometimes I can’t, the important thing is to listen to my body and stop when I need to. The changes in weather through the seasons causes my pain and fatigue levels to fluctuate. Knowing this, I can make sure I don’t schedule too much in the first few weeks of winter and summer (the 2 seasons I’m affected the most). For me, understanding this has been an important part of pacingmy activities.
Scheduling rest. Especially early on in my illness, my main tool for pacing was to have set rest periods and starting with very small amounts of activity broken up with larger periods resting. Today I don’t ‘rest’ in the same way I did when I was first ill. Back then I actually slept during the day a lot. These days, unless I’m having a crash and literally can’t keep my eyes open, I try not to sleep during the day at all. My rests are now periods of meditation, listening to audio books or lying in front of the tv (tv used to count as activity when I was really struggling).
Setting goals and keeping a To-Do list. Living with Foggy Frog as a constant companion, I often struggle to remember things. This can be very frustrating so I now keep an ongoing To-Do list that I can check regularly and mark off what I achieve. I also break down any big goals (such as my work projects) into smaller steps so that I only need to focus on one thing at a time.
I aim to be realistic about the timeframes I give myself for projects and To-Do list items. For example, most days I’ll only set myself 2-3 small items to achieve. If I do more I add that as I go but as long as I can mark something off my list each day, I’m generally happy.
This week my focus is on the Foggy Frog book. Yesterday I sent out the survey to allow backers to vote on the cover design and today I’m writing my blog posts. Over the last few days I’ve sent some emails to prominent people asking if they’d like to preview the book and provide comments. The rest of the week will likely be spent following up on publishing quotes and the emails, and beginning to plan the book launch.
How do you slow down and focus on perspective to minimise crashes and maximise your success at work?
Back in December of last year, I answered a reader’s question about pacing and working. In this post I talked about some of the issues we face when we’re attempting to work with a chronic illness. We talked about our inability to be consistent and some simple tips and tricks for trying to avoid crashes as a result of working.
It’s been about 6 months since I wrote this post and in that time I’ve been gradually increasing the amount of work I’m doing myself. I’ve been very fortunate that, although I was unable to keep the job I was in prior to my first major crash, I’ve been able to use the connections I’d made when I was working full time to get establish a very flexible working environment for myself since then.
Back in 2013, I was working full time, studying full time and exercising every day (daily walks and gym at least 3 times a week). That all stopped suddenly when I woke up with pelvic pain so bad that I ended up in the emergency department all day while they tried (and failed) to work out what was causing it. I took a few days off on sick leave and then attempted to return to work even though the pain hadn’t gone and the fatigue was getting worse by the day. Obviously, that wasn’t working so I was yet again on leave.
At the time I thought it’d just be a few weeks and I’d feel better and be back at work. I had test after test to try and work out what was wrong with no clear results. As the weeks dragged into months I began to despair that I would never be able to get back to work.
Overall, I had almost 2 years without working at all before I got to a point where I felt confident with my ability to maintain some semblance of consistency and began to look at returning to some form of part time work.
Initially, I attempted to return to my previous role in a part time capacity, however my employers weren’t keen to take on the liability of having me there if I was to get worse again once starting back at work so I began to look into other options.
I have always wanted to work for myself and both E and I saw this as an opportunity to see how I would go with self employment, however I still wanted to have some form of ‘regular’ income coming in.
While looking at self employment opportunities, I approached an old boss to see if he had any casual work available for me to do as a means of seeing how I go with adding work back in. He did and he’s been great ever since then. Originally I thought I’d be able to build up to 8 hours a week of work for him within a few months but I quickly learnt that this wasn’t realistic. To this day, I sometimes manage that level of work for him but most weeks I only manage an hour or two a week (and some weeks none at all).
Having a boss who has been aware of my limitations from the start and willing to be flexible about how much work I take on has been great. I take on the jobs that don’t necessarily have a fixed deadline as they’ve been waiting for so long for clients to provide their data and so it’s not a big concern if I’m unable to complete them as quickly as I’d like. I’m also able to work from home which is a huge benefit as the few times I’ve attempted to head into the office to work, I’ve ended up paying for it after.
Although I like the fact that this work is paid by the hour, I’m able to work from home, and my boss is extremely flexible, it’s not the type of work I’m really interested in doing long term. This is where self-employment has come into play.
I’ve got two distinct areas that I’m working in from a self-employment perspective, both of which I’ve joined together under the LiveKen banner.
The first, and at the moment the largest (bringing in the most income), side of the business is environment and sustainability consulting work. I reached out to my contacts at the local councils to see if anyone had small manageable projects they needed a consultant helping on. I made it clear that my biggest interest was in developing and delivering workshops for the community around living simple, sustainable and meaningful lives but that I would also consider research based projects that fit within my skill and knowledge base. From this initial call out I got two projects:
Developing a 3 year Environmental Management Plan for the City of Prospect. This has been a large and ongoing project and we’re about half way through the process now a year on from when we initially started. It’s been a great project with lots of community and staff engagement.
Developing a series of Biodiversity Trails for local schools within the Campbelltown City Council. This was also a large project for me and took me much longer than I expected to complete thanks to the ups and downs of my health.
From doing these two projects I’ve learnt a lot about my current capabilities and about the processes and people I need to have in place if I’m going to be successful at working for myself and delivering projects on time and within budget for my clients while maintaining (and if possible improving) my health.
I’ve learnt that when proposing timelines for larger projects like this, I need to schedule in additional time than I think it will take me to allow for crashes and other health related delays. It’s also good to have someone lined up as a backup person (a subcontractor) to complete the work if my health gets to a point that I’m unable to do it.
These two large projects have also led to a few workshops with schools and the Council libraries on topics such as revegetation and up-cycling materials. These have been great for me because, although they don’t pay as well, they have a clearly defined timeframe and allow me to connect with a large group of people within a short space of time. I do need to make sure I schedule time to rest both before and after these workshops but because there’s no ongoing ‘stress’ related to completing them, I seem to recover quite quickly afterwards.
The second branch of the business is invisible illness advocacy. This actually started before I’d established LiveKen, with the idea of a picture book about invisible illnesses and chronic pain. The successful Kickstarter campaign we ran for the Foggy Frog and the Pain Gang picture book, has allowed me to focus on finishing the pictures with the knowledge that I will be able to publish and over 100 copies of the book will be going out into the hands of people who live with an invisible illness to share with their friends.
This is another project that has taken me MUCH longer than I expected it to. We are finally at the point where I’ll be getting quotes for printing within the next few weeks so keep your eye out for more information about this in the next month or so. The plan is for the picture book to be the first step in a larger awareness raising campaign.
This post is getting quite long, so I might stop there today and do a detailed hints and tips post later.
What tips or tricks do you have for working with a chronic illnesses?
I feel most connected with others when I’m able to talk meaningfully with them about anything or when I’m able to share experiences with them. For example, chatting with my friends about topics that are important to both of us, chatting online (comments here and on Facebook) with others about life with chronic illness, and going away with E to ‘get back to nature’ and relax together.
What daily habit would you like to introduce to your life?
I’d like to get back to daily meditation and daily exercise but for now I’m just focused on adding more gratitude and general mindfulness to my day.
What one mini-little-adventure would you like to have in the coming week?
In the coming week I would like to surprise E for his birthday.
List at least of things or events that changed your Life: It could be as simple as a book or meeting a certain person?
Meeting E in 2003 and marrying him in 2011!
Getting ill in 2013.
Participating in a 6 month Green Corp project and volunteering with Conservation Volunteers Australia, giving me hands on experience with conservation and land management and energy auditing.
I meant to do this post last week for May 12 International Awareness Day but brain fog made me forget the date and I didn’t have the energy last week to write it anyway so here it is today…
A little background for those of you who haven’t been following me for very long. For over 3 years now I’ve been living with chronic pain and fatigue as my daily companion. I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Pelvic Congestion Syndrome.
I’ve already done a day in my life post, since then I have improved to the point that I try not to nap during the day any more.
What I do in a week
The following is what I did in the week starting Monday 9 May… It gives a good idea of what I do most weeks. The types of appointments and work I do varies week to week and the number of crash days also varies.
Monday
I wake up slowly at around 8:30 am noticing the heavy and aching feeling that’s always there. After stretching in bed and slowly getting up I measure the 0.5mL of testosterone cream and rub it into my leg and then slowly get dressed.
After getting dressed, I sit back on the bed and spend some time checking my emails and my to-do-list, and waiting for the heaviness and shakiness to settle enough to get up and make breakfast.
I’m feeling rather out of it today so I take my time doing my weekly budget review and spend some time online reading blogs. The fact that the weather is very wet and cold today doesn’t help my pain levels. I decide to hop in the bath and read until lunch time.
Being a Monday, it’s my day to do a bike ride. Before having lunch I decide to do a 10 minute easy ride on the stationary bike in the shed because it’s too wet to go out. I reheat leftovers and put the tv on while I eat lunch.
I’ve got some work I have to do today so I spend most the afternoon doing that. Again, tasks that would normally take half an hour to an hour to do are taking me over 3 hours.
Before long, it’s 5:00 pm and my brain is like mush, I put the TV back on and only get up to make a simple dinner and to do some stretches because my pelvic pain is flaring tonight.
At around 9:00 pm I get up, take my pills, have a shower and head to bed. In bed, I take some time to review my daily to-do-list and write a short list for tomorrow. Lights out by 10:00 pm.
Tuesday
I don’t wake up until 9:00 am today. Before even getting out of bed I decide to check my emails and my to-do-list because my body doesn’t want to cooperate.
Today I’m heading to my mum’s to help her with her assignment so after getting dressed and having breakfast I drive down there. Most of the day is spent helping mum. When we finish going through mum’s assignment in the afternoon, we go for a short walk and then I sit down and do my weekly blog posts before attending an online meeting for the conference I’m helping to organise.
By the time the meeting ends my sister has got home from her school placement and we head into town for dinner with E and a few friends from his office. Because E was drinking, I drive us home at the end of the night (that doesn’t happen very often).
It’s a late night out for me but I’m in bed by 10:30pm
Wednesday
Ok, so I did a bit too much Tuesday and that time of the month is starting so pain and fatigue are very high today.
It’s definitely a crash day which means I spend most the day in front of the tv not doing much. I do make myself do my 10 minute ride on the stationary bike because some movement helps with pain levels and I order a few things I need online (cat food and my calcium and magnesium supplements). I also prepare the dough for baking bread the next day.
I shower both in the morning and the night to help with pain. In bed by 9:00 pm.
Thursday
I’m awake at 9:00 am. Fatigue is slightly lower today and I do have a doctors appointment I need to go to. The day starts with a shower and breakfast. I also throw the bread in the oven to bake.
Before heading to my doctors appointment I throw on a load of washing. I drive to town and visit my doctor to get a script I forgot to ask for in my check up the week before. After that I buy lunch and eat with E in his office before I drive home and hang out the washing.
The rest of the day is spent resting in front of the tv, until I shower and head to bed again at around 10:00 pm.
Friday
Up at 8:30 am today and I do feel slightly better today. Dad’s over for lunch today so that takes up most my day.
I do manage to send an email out inviting people to a meeting next week for the conference organising stuff and to do a short ride on the stationary bike and a short walk with my sister who is over for dinner.
In bed by 10:15 pm.
Saturday
After getting up at 9:00 am I head down to mum’s and spend most the day out with my sister op-shopping. I know that I’m doing too much today but I’m enjoying a day out with T while I can.
some of the books I picked up on our op-shopping tour.
In the evening, E makes dinner because I don’t have any energy left and I’m in bed by 9:30 pm.
Sunday
Up at 9:00 am today and throw on a load of washing straight after breakfast. I then sit down and rest for a while before baking a cake. The whole morning is broken down between baking, washing, and doing low energy activities like reading blogs.
I reheat left overs for lunch and then read some of the children’s books I bought yesterday until E’s family comes over for afternoon tea.
I also spend some time prepping for baking bread on Monday and putting together some lego.
I have a bath in the evening after dinner as I’m feeling very achey and end up in bed late at 11:00 pm mainly because I relax too long in the bath.
That was my week last week.
As you can see, my days vary a lot. This was a fairly busy week for me as there were a few days in there where I wasn’t able to have any rest breaks throughout the day at all. That isn’t typical but the rest of it is. I try to find a way to balance work, social, exercise and rest each week.
As well as catching up with friends on the first night, we spent a fair bit of time alone on the beach near our Ecopod accomodation. I was glad I had the energy for walks along the beach and really enjoyed just sitting there listening to the waves and watching the birds go by.
We had wonderful weather while we were travelling on the Friday but the weather started turning on the Saturday, with most the day being drizzles, clouds, and wind. Before it got too wet we walked along the beach and then spent most the afternoon playing games and listening to audio books in our accomodation while listening to, and watching, the weather change outside.
I was grateful to come home on Sunday though as the weather took a nasty turn that night with plenty of rain over the last few days!
Just a short post today, as I’m recovering from the business of the weekend! Enjoy some nice photos from our trip. These are just ones I took with my phone, I’ll share some of the ones E took with the camera in future posts.
Over the last few months I’ve focused on building up my exercise levels to a point that I can maintain a consistent exercise regime including stretches, a relatively consistent step count, and regular bike rides on my electric bike. Moving my body with the aim of reducing pain levels and increasing energy.
I’ve also helped several friends and family members to move house. It’s been interesting to see the different ways people pack, how they prioritise what to keep, add or give away, and who they have to help them move. I am glad that although I physically couldn’t help much with any of the moves, I was there to support my friends and family.
My brain has been less foggy lately as well. Yes, I still have days that I’m crashed and everything is a struggle but in general I’ve had a clearer head. This has let me move forward on my projects, progress my study, and consider taking on new opportunities that fit my values and allow me to grow.
Everyone in life is moving in one way or another. In most cases though we’re all moving in many different ways all at once.
Physically, mentally and emotionally we’re always moving.
We’ve reached the end of our 20 Week No Buy Challenge and over the weekend Rach and I caught up to celebrate our successes.
In keeping with the No Buy theme, we celebrated with a homemade lunch of soup and sourdough bread with a glass of sparkling wine followed by homegrown peppermint tea and homemade peanut butter cookies.
Celebrating the end of our 20 Week No Buy Challenge with homemade soup and sourdough and a glass of bubbles…
As we ate we discussed the challenges we faced during the 20 weeks and what we felt we’d learnt.
My biggest challenge was sticking to the rule of not eating out if I was alone. There were several days where I found myself out and about longer than I had planned to be and in a position where I was contemplating takeaway food. Luckily each time this happened I either made my way to my mum’s and ate there, or someone was available for me to eat out with so I didn’t actually break the rules.
My second biggest challenge was accepting that some things that at the beginning of the challenge I classified as non-essential became essential purchases during the 20 weeks. The t-shirt I’m wearing in the photo above was purchased during the 20 week challenge but it was an essential purchase as I lost at least 3 of my t-shirts and 2 dresses to old age (they became see-through or massive holes that weren’t worth repairing were made while carrying big loads of things into the house). I also gave away a couple of t-shirts because I wasn’t wearing them (they weren’t comfortable on me or they didn’t go with enough of my other clothes). Thus the new t-shirt in the photo above…
Having said that, none of the old clothing went into landfill, I have either cut them up for rags (the see through and holey ones) or I donated them to charity or someone I knew who would get more wear out of them than I was.
Lessons Learnt
I’ve struggled a bit with identifying the lessons I’ve learnt during this challenge, mainly because I didn’t find it all that difficult to comply with and because a lot of what I ‘learnt’ I already knew (the challenge just reinforced it).
The main things it reinforced for me were:
Always prepare for the unexpected.
I could have avoided the unexpected needs for eating out by always taking at least a small snack with me when I leave the house. I did do this most times and it saved me a few times from having to buy something. I also took my zero waste eat out kit (straw, cloth napkin, bamboo spork) everywhere with me and used it on several occasions to avoid using disposables and most trips I took my keep cup as well.
If you can identify your values, it’s easier to say ‘No’ to the things that don’t fit with them but it’s also important to be aware of other people’s values as well.
The No Buy Challenge fit well with my values of being conscious of the impact my actions have on the environment and the wider community. There were several purchases we made as a family (E wasn’t participating in the challenge) that, if it was just me, I would not have made but that were made because they fit with E’s values. There were other purchases we considered that I said No to because they didn’t fit well with my values and I couldn’t see any long term benefit for anyone in the family.
Each of us are individuals and we need to make compromises at times if we are to maintain healthy relationships. We need to set our own boundaries about what is acceptable and what isn’t.
Buying is the cultural norm and it’s difficult to move away from these habits.
Although I’ve never been a big spender, participating in this challenge made me more aware of the times where, in the past, I would’ve just made a purchase without really thinking about it. Even most of my few purchases during the challenge (the earrings early on, a duplo set and a few children’s books secondhand, and the t-shirt mentioned above) were made without much thought about them before hand. It was only after I bought them that I actually considered what they meant in terms of the challenge.
Rach had a lot more trouble with this than I did, there were several times during the challenge where she contacted me because she was considering a purchase and needed to discuss the options and whether they were actually essential. She also found that she enjoys shopping and for that reason alone it was difficult to stop.
Not buying new things makes you appreciate what you have.
Both Rach and I removed things from our houses during this challenge. Rach gave several bags of clothes to charity and took the time to assess what she has in her wardrobe. I, as mentioned above, lost several items of clothing to old age and gave away a few items that I didn’t wear.
We’ve both realised that we have enough, and for some things (clothes in particular) more than enough, in our lives. We are grateful that we live in a society where we have choices for clothing, shoes, kitchen appliances and other household items. We are not living below the poverty line and don’t need to struggle to meet our basic needs.
I like making conscious choices that align with my values.
Although it takes more time, during this challenge I’ve added several more homemade items to our lives. As well as the laundry liquid, cloth napkins, peppermint and fruit we already make or grow, I’ve been trying my hand at making my own sourdough bread (so far no reactions) and other ‘old fashioned’ recipes that are better for my health and the environment.
Although there are a few purchases I now need to consider making (new underwear and sandals to start with) I’m still going to be conscious of my purchases and my allocation of my time and resources. This No Buy Challenge has helped me to progress my larger challenge of living a simple, sustainable and meaningful life.
Did you participate in the challenge?
If so, what did you learn? If not, would you consider a challenge like this in the future?
Liveken - my chronic life journey 